For New Old Moms to Learn Old New Tricks
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In my ever-crunchy attempt to create a present and aware child who lives in the moment as opposed to say, a tiny, tireless consumer constantly clamoring for my phone to endlessly loop the Chipmunks cover of ‘What Does The Fox Say?’ on Youtube- let’s just say I’ve made a few tactical errors. I thought I was smart ( and knew I was being lazy) by…
1. Look back and examine how your racial attitudes were formed. Maybe you are an oldster like me and you remember Senor Wences or Speedy Gonzales and you didn’t realize these caricatures shaped how you see people. You also grew up loving What’s Happening, Good Times, Sanford and Son, Sammy Davis, Jr., The Jackson Five, Stevie Wonder, Ella Fitzgerald, and Jimi Hendrix. But you also…
“There is not one thing that woman accomplished that she couldn’t have done as a white woman.” — Dave Chapelle “Everyone wants to be black until it’s time to be black.” — Paul Mooney I’m still pondering the magnitude of what Rachel tried to pull off. She attended Howard University, the predominantly black university, as the whitey she was born. Apparently Howard University doesn’t have…
Old is the new young. I keep waiting for that to be the cover of Vogue, Cosmo, or even More magazine. Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. I’m not holding my breath for age to be considered cool, sexy and desirable. But when you are my age and have a girlfriend calling you to rave about an article in the latest issue of AARP magazine,…
Thank you, Little Bully for hurting my daughter. I mean it, Little Bully. I appreciate you teaching me how much I need to teach my little girl. Thanks, Little Bully, for waking me up to how violent, mean and intimidating we are all capable of being at such young ages. Even though you are not even five, Little Bully, thank you for teaching me that…
1. When your child/client makes unreasonable demands, such as “But I want to eat toilet paper!” or “Can you score me some crack?” – you don’t say no- you just find diplomatic words that sound like yes, but essentially mean no. 2. Fall gracefully on child/client’s grenades. If they show up for an important meeting 4 hours late & Xanaxed out of their brain or…
When I was a kid the world was obsessed with Tatum O’Neal, Bobby Fischer, Brooke Shields, Donny Osmond, Linda Blair and Michael Jackson- They were super young, crazy gifted… though, as they grew, some of them turned out to also be super crazy. I didn’t have any innate gifts other than a hefty imagination. I could draw, but that wasn’t going to land me on…
I know why Betty Draper is bitter. I know why the caged bird sings. It’s all about the evil hum of the dishwasher. When I didn’t find my husband by 40, I became my own husband. I assembled my own IKEA Hemnes daybed, alone. (The IKEA Hemnes daybed assembly manual is about the size and heft of a Fall Vogue. It took me three full…